Whole Goat Care

IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING
SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD
BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS.
THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS
THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING
LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE.
THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND
THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES
WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.
EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO
STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK.
HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND
THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL.
SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR,
SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY
HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT.

THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT.
THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE
WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER
AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP,
SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK,
GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS
AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE
HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND,
GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK,
SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF
HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL
OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND
WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS
FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM
AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS
AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM.

THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF
AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING,
TEARS IN HER EYES!

AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED
SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD..
ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER,
HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS
BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A
LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE.
SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED
HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER.

HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.'
'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED
ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?'
ASKED HIS WIFE..

'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY
I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT,
AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.'

BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME
VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS.
I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.

Oh ewwwwww!!! I love it!!!!